Fasting Day 1

Good Morning

Some of you are probably wondering why I am fasting. Well you fast when you want answers, when you want God to reveal things to you.
So Last night when I was talking to a dear friend of mine. Well I got a rude awaking. Simply because he pointed out some very good points about my life. Nothing that I didn't know already.The fact is, What am I going to do about it? I'm I just going to let it go? And move on like God has never given me a calling?

My answer is  NO!

That is why I am fasting. I am going to fast for 1 week. What am I fasting do you ask? Well my biggest addiction! Facebook! I know some ppl say well if your going to fast then you need to fast everything. Well for me that's not true. I need to fast whatever it is that is distracting me from spending time with God. and well 95% of my time is on facebook. I know that it is very sad, but its true.

So starting today, well actually last night around 11:30 No more facebook for a week. I took it as far as deleting the app off my phone. ( wow serious business)
So far this morning it has been very hard not to see whats going on. But instead I read my morning devotional. One of them anyway, I have found a lot devotionals to keep me busy.

If your wondering what answer I am looking for, well its about ministry school. How many opportunities have a passed up. Too many, and God isn't going to wait on me forever. If you would have asked me before 9:30 last night what i thought about leaving for ministry school, I would have been like well its impossible.
Honestly, I have a house, I have a job, I have a relationship, I have all my family here, I sing at church.

I could sit here and name a thousand reasons not to go to ministry school, but in the end that desire that God placed in my heart long ago will continue to surface, and i will walk around for the rest of my life with an emptiness because something is missing, I will walk around with the (what ifs)

I have no clue why God wants me to go to ministry school.
I'm not even sure if I still have a chance to get into these schools again.

I look at my life and my past, since God reveled that he wanted me to go to school..... Its hasn't been a fairytale, I can honestly say that. I went to school for something that I cant even pass the state boards, Why? (it wasn't Gods plans) God doesn't care how much you spent or how much time it took, if its not his will, it will NEVER work.

I look at me and my church. Am I happy? not really, I mean I love my church, but something is always going on.

Last night, I couldn't go to sleep, I starred into the mirror for 30 mins it seemed like just asking God what do u want from me!

I get this sick feeling over me when I think about what all would happen if i left. Its hard to swallow.

whats going to happen with me and Roger if I leave?
then I think, well we could get married and then go to hillsong, they do give a discount for married couples. :)

So my prayer is this...
God reveal what it is you have called me to do, Tell me where you want me to go, if its ministry school, tell me where and how I'm going to get there.
If its not going to ministry school, then tell me what I am supposed to be doing here.

As I fast this next week, I would appreciate the prayers. Only God has the answer, But i don't want to miss my opportunity on something that God has for me.
Its hard to wrap my brain around the fact that he wants to use me!

I am sure I will be posting later on.

Blessings
Anna