Well guys today is the last day of my fast. (YAY) I'm so ready to get back into the world of facebook. I never realized how much it consumed my life until this past week. It really was a good thing that I let it go to spend time with God, I might need to start doing that more often.
This morning I opened my pop tart to only find ONE in there not TWO! :(
sorry that was a lil ADD moment.
I don't really know how to type what all has happened on this fast, but I can say that I feel a lot closer to God and I feel like my walk has gotten deeper. I was show and told a few things that I needed to hear as far as my calling. I am still praying about going off to ministry school. But I really feel like God is calling me to be here right now to start Extravagant Grace for the girls. I'm so excited to get this going. I have dreamed about it and God has shown me different things about whats going to happen. And I hope I make all the right decisions so that they will happen.
Sunday we had another amazing service. I love it when we have a Holy Ghost service. :) Pastor Scott prayed over me, and after going back and listening to it. I realized that I need to stop wanting to sing, because i already am. I know it may not be where I want to sing, or how I pictured it, but your dream has to start somewhere, be happy with what you have now, and be humble and God will finish it.
I am still not finished with reading my book, but I can tell you it is full of sticky notes. So I'm sure that blog will be long long long but it will be life changing. because i know this book has changed mine. :)
I have noticed that if you obey God and what he tells you to do, you get set on fire! I mean a holy ghost fire that no one can break off of you! I have felt like this all week! I love it. I just want to be in his presence all the time. :)
On a side note, I made my first fondant cake. :) Its very cute! well it was, its all gone now. :) It was a practice cake for this weekend, this Saturday i have to make a 4 layer cake for jamasha's moms bridal shower. :) I'm so excited to try something new. :)
I am seriously thinking about starting my own lil business out of my house. :) I love to bake. :)
And no i haven't forgotten about massage school, its just on the back burner right now. I have up until August 16th before I have to reapply. :( But..... God willing, I will pass.that would be wonderful! :)
another important thing that has happened. I took over the HOAs of brentwood townhomes. (where I live) This is a huge task to take on, but I'm fine with it. Except for the crazy lady on the end, who has already started placing letters in my mailbox. (god give me patients) I hope that I can make brentwood a nicer place to live! :)
Anyways I think that's all for now! I'm super sleepy today. I was hoping to go home to lunch and take a nap, but... I have lunch with my nan and pop.
whelp have a great day!
~aLM~
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
So far, So good
So this makes day 4 of fasting. It has been difficult not knowing whats going on in the life of facebook. But it has also been a really good weekend. God really set me on fire. Which is something that needed to happen. :) I needed a refreshing.
Friday night I went to the Youth Praise Concert at Ridgecrest . It was a lot of fun. the kids were about like our kids were in our youth group. Quite and not excited. lol
But there were a few that were just so radical for Jesus, and that made me happy.
I got to see the Chris Stephens Project and they were amazing! I really liked them! I hope to one day get them to perform at our church.
I was so excited that I couldn't go to sleep. I just laid there until like 2 in the morning.
Saturday I got to spend the day with my best friend Jamasha! Masha Pasha! :) We went out and bought all the stuff I needed to start making my cakes! :) Which is pretty exciting by the way, I'll tell you more about that in a minute. So anyways while we were in Michael's we found all kinds of stuff for our youth group. :) Especially GLOW STICKS! This Wednesday we are having GLOW in the DARK worship! :)
then we went and ate at Momma Goldberg's, which that was my first time, and it was so good. :) After that we went to walmart and got the rest of the stuff, and went home to bake away the afternoon. :) My house smelt so good that Hunter and Kirsten had to come over and eat a cupcake ;) Yummy. Which it was very nice to sit and talk with my new neighbors.
So after we got done with the cake, which by the way turned out great for my first fondant cake! I was so proud. We went to Jamashas house so her mom could try it to see if she like it. and she did! She couldn't believe what a gift I had. Which made me feel good. She told me I needed to advertise this at the church. I'm still in shock that she thought that much of it. :) I'm excited to make her BIG cake this weekend. It has to feed anywhere from 20 to 52 people. LOL that's a big difference! But it will be fun! I can wait!
Speaking of Cakes
I love Cakes, I love baking, and I love cake shows.
So I want to start doing this as a side thing. I could make some money off of doing this. I want to start taking the class in Dothan at Michael's in August, but I'm not sure if ill be able to. I hope that within the next few months ill be able to do that. I have everything on my Christmas list picked out already! :)
So after Saturday comes Sunday.......
Yesterday at church was amazing. The last 2 Sundays have not been what you call your regular church service.
We've had a holy ghost service these last 2 Sundays, and I hope they continue. It was so awesome.
So this brings me back to my fasting. You fast because you want to God to give you direction, well yesterday God spoke through Bishop and he said. Your past is no more, it can no longer hold you down, go do what you are called to do, do what you are called to do. WOW yeah I thought that was amazing.
Where how or When is the question now. LOL
As I continue to fast the rest of this week that is my prayer. Where, How, or When?
Last night I was trying to talk to Roger about it all, but it hard to explain to someone whats been laid on your heart in a way they will understand, without taking you the wrong way.
I have 4 more months before I take my massage therapy test, this is my last chance to take the test, and I'm going to take it and get it all behind me, pass or fail, i need to get it off my chest. After that it will then be around December, So then I will be ready to start the NEW year off right. Whether I go to school locally or far off, I have to do something. :)
I have been reading the book we got from forward, and it is amazing. its about dreams. taking hold of your dreams. I really like it. Ive actually been studying it more than reading, I'm hoping to finish it this week and then i will write about it here in my blog.
anyways I'm going to get back to work now.
~ALM~
Friday night I went to the Youth Praise Concert at Ridgecrest . It was a lot of fun. the kids were about like our kids were in our youth group. Quite and not excited. lol
But there were a few that were just so radical for Jesus, and that made me happy.
I got to see the Chris Stephens Project and they were amazing! I really liked them! I hope to one day get them to perform at our church.
I was so excited that I couldn't go to sleep. I just laid there until like 2 in the morning.
Saturday I got to spend the day with my best friend Jamasha! Masha Pasha! :) We went out and bought all the stuff I needed to start making my cakes! :) Which is pretty exciting by the way, I'll tell you more about that in a minute. So anyways while we were in Michael's we found all kinds of stuff for our youth group. :) Especially GLOW STICKS! This Wednesday we are having GLOW in the DARK worship! :)
then we went and ate at Momma Goldberg's, which that was my first time, and it was so good. :) After that we went to walmart and got the rest of the stuff, and went home to bake away the afternoon. :) My house smelt so good that Hunter and Kirsten had to come over and eat a cupcake ;) Yummy. Which it was very nice to sit and talk with my new neighbors.
So after we got done with the cake, which by the way turned out great for my first fondant cake! I was so proud. We went to Jamashas house so her mom could try it to see if she like it. and she did! She couldn't believe what a gift I had. Which made me feel good. She told me I needed to advertise this at the church. I'm still in shock that she thought that much of it. :) I'm excited to make her BIG cake this weekend. It has to feed anywhere from 20 to 52 people. LOL that's a big difference! But it will be fun! I can wait!
Speaking of Cakes
I love Cakes, I love baking, and I love cake shows.
So I want to start doing this as a side thing. I could make some money off of doing this. I want to start taking the class in Dothan at Michael's in August, but I'm not sure if ill be able to. I hope that within the next few months ill be able to do that. I have everything on my Christmas list picked out already! :)
So after Saturday comes Sunday.......
Yesterday at church was amazing. The last 2 Sundays have not been what you call your regular church service.
We've had a holy ghost service these last 2 Sundays, and I hope they continue. It was so awesome.
So this brings me back to my fasting. You fast because you want to God to give you direction, well yesterday God spoke through Bishop and he said. Your past is no more, it can no longer hold you down, go do what you are called to do, do what you are called to do. WOW yeah I thought that was amazing.
Where how or When is the question now. LOL
As I continue to fast the rest of this week that is my prayer. Where, How, or When?
Last night I was trying to talk to Roger about it all, but it hard to explain to someone whats been laid on your heart in a way they will understand, without taking you the wrong way.
I have 4 more months before I take my massage therapy test, this is my last chance to take the test, and I'm going to take it and get it all behind me, pass or fail, i need to get it off my chest. After that it will then be around December, So then I will be ready to start the NEW year off right. Whether I go to school locally or far off, I have to do something. :)
I have been reading the book we got from forward, and it is amazing. its about dreams. taking hold of your dreams. I really like it. Ive actually been studying it more than reading, I'm hoping to finish it this week and then i will write about it here in my blog.
anyways I'm going to get back to work now.
~ALM~
Friday, July 22, 2011
Fasting Day 1
Good Morning
Some of you are probably wondering why I am fasting. Well you fast when you want answers, when you want God to reveal things to you.
So Last night when I was talking to a dear friend of mine. Well I got a rude awaking. Simply because he pointed out some very good points about my life. Nothing that I didn't know already.The fact is, What am I going to do about it? I'm I just going to let it go? And move on like God has never given me a calling?
My answer is NO!
That is why I am fasting. I am going to fast for 1 week. What am I fasting do you ask? Well my biggest addiction! Facebook! I know some ppl say well if your going to fast then you need to fast everything. Well for me that's not true. I need to fast whatever it is that is distracting me from spending time with God. and well 95% of my time is on facebook. I know that it is very sad, but its true.
So starting today, well actually last night around 11:30 No more facebook for a week. I took it as far as deleting the app off my phone. ( wow serious business)
So far this morning it has been very hard not to see whats going on. But instead I read my morning devotional. One of them anyway, I have found a lot devotionals to keep me busy.
If your wondering what answer I am looking for, well its about ministry school. How many opportunities have a passed up. Too many, and God isn't going to wait on me forever. If you would have asked me before 9:30 last night what i thought about leaving for ministry school, I would have been like well its impossible.
Honestly, I have a house, I have a job, I have a relationship, I have all my family here, I sing at church.
I could sit here and name a thousand reasons not to go to ministry school, but in the end that desire that God placed in my heart long ago will continue to surface, and i will walk around for the rest of my life with an emptiness because something is missing, I will walk around with the (what ifs)
I have no clue why God wants me to go to ministry school.
I'm not even sure if I still have a chance to get into these schools again.
I look at my life and my past, since God reveled that he wanted me to go to school..... Its hasn't been a fairytale, I can honestly say that. I went to school for something that I cant even pass the state boards, Why? (it wasn't Gods plans) God doesn't care how much you spent or how much time it took, if its not his will, it will NEVER work.
I look at me and my church. Am I happy? not really, I mean I love my church, but something is always going on.
Last night, I couldn't go to sleep, I starred into the mirror for 30 mins it seemed like just asking God what do u want from me!
I get this sick feeling over me when I think about what all would happen if i left. Its hard to swallow.
whats going to happen with me and Roger if I leave?
then I think, well we could get married and then go to hillsong, they do give a discount for married couples. :)
So my prayer is this...
God reveal what it is you have called me to do, Tell me where you want me to go, if its ministry school, tell me where and how I'm going to get there.
If its not going to ministry school, then tell me what I am supposed to be doing here.
As I fast this next week, I would appreciate the prayers. Only God has the answer, But i don't want to miss my opportunity on something that God has for me.
Its hard to wrap my brain around the fact that he wants to use me!
I am sure I will be posting later on.
Blessings
Anna
Some of you are probably wondering why I am fasting. Well you fast when you want answers, when you want God to reveal things to you.
So Last night when I was talking to a dear friend of mine. Well I got a rude awaking. Simply because he pointed out some very good points about my life. Nothing that I didn't know already.The fact is, What am I going to do about it? I'm I just going to let it go? And move on like God has never given me a calling?
My answer is NO!
That is why I am fasting. I am going to fast for 1 week. What am I fasting do you ask? Well my biggest addiction! Facebook! I know some ppl say well if your going to fast then you need to fast everything. Well for me that's not true. I need to fast whatever it is that is distracting me from spending time with God. and well 95% of my time is on facebook. I know that it is very sad, but its true.
So starting today, well actually last night around 11:30 No more facebook for a week. I took it as far as deleting the app off my phone. ( wow serious business)
So far this morning it has been very hard not to see whats going on. But instead I read my morning devotional. One of them anyway, I have found a lot devotionals to keep me busy.
If your wondering what answer I am looking for, well its about ministry school. How many opportunities have a passed up. Too many, and God isn't going to wait on me forever. If you would have asked me before 9:30 last night what i thought about leaving for ministry school, I would have been like well its impossible.
Honestly, I have a house, I have a job, I have a relationship, I have all my family here, I sing at church.
I could sit here and name a thousand reasons not to go to ministry school, but in the end that desire that God placed in my heart long ago will continue to surface, and i will walk around for the rest of my life with an emptiness because something is missing, I will walk around with the (what ifs)
I have no clue why God wants me to go to ministry school.
I'm not even sure if I still have a chance to get into these schools again.
I look at my life and my past, since God reveled that he wanted me to go to school..... Its hasn't been a fairytale, I can honestly say that. I went to school for something that I cant even pass the state boards, Why? (it wasn't Gods plans) God doesn't care how much you spent or how much time it took, if its not his will, it will NEVER work.
I look at me and my church. Am I happy? not really, I mean I love my church, but something is always going on.
Last night, I couldn't go to sleep, I starred into the mirror for 30 mins it seemed like just asking God what do u want from me!
I get this sick feeling over me when I think about what all would happen if i left. Its hard to swallow.
whats going to happen with me and Roger if I leave?
then I think, well we could get married and then go to hillsong, they do give a discount for married couples. :)
So my prayer is this...
God reveal what it is you have called me to do, Tell me where you want me to go, if its ministry school, tell me where and how I'm going to get there.
If its not going to ministry school, then tell me what I am supposed to be doing here.
As I fast this next week, I would appreciate the prayers. Only God has the answer, But i don't want to miss my opportunity on something that God has for me.
Its hard to wrap my brain around the fact that he wants to use me!
I am sure I will be posting later on.
Blessings
Anna
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Should have never been invented!
Wow I don't even know where to begin with this.
Cursing, Drinking, hypocriticism, lying, backstabbing, fake people.
Now that I got that out. Maybe now you will know where I'm going with this.
I have been in church my whole life! I was saved at age 7 ( I believe)
never in my whole life until the last 5 years have I ever experienced so much heart ache from church. Not just one church either. Because I have left and tried to start fresh, but the Lord knocked me down on that. That experience was just WOW.. not going there.
Have you ever had a desire or a passion to do something so bad and its like no one even notices you. and then you see someone up there doing it, who is one person at church, but then another person outside of church. its very hurtful, especially when you are the one who is actually trying to do right!
I do not think that someone that is open on facebook or twitter about their partying or language should be able to represent a church or be able to stand on a stage and minister.
This right here is a prime example of why ppl do not come to church. They get hurt and think all churches are this way. now I will also say this. The more ppl you know and the more involved you get into a church, you find out a bunch of CRAP, and it distracts you from becoming closer to God, because you will find yourself thinking about what that person did the night before or what they are going to be doing after service.. it totally throws you off.
we are not supposed to be teaching ppl how easy it is to get away with sin, we are supposed to be teaching them about love and serving, and living like Christ did.
have you ever read in the bible about Jesus partying the night before he went out into the streets to spread the word? ummmm no!
And maybe this is what happens when you are raised in the bible belt, but come on ppl its preached to you all the time about the sins of everyday life and how we are to stay away.
And no I'm not perfect, we all slip and fall, but at least I am trying and I'm no longer struggling with half the stuff I once was.
someone once told me that I'd be surprised if I knew half of what these ppl were going through, and you know what I think. I don't want to know!!!! don't spread the gossip about someone!!!! don't make it facebook or twitter announced what you do especially if you are in ministry GAH ppl come on!!!!!
I have been in one BIG funk lately and I think its because I am so burned out on how things are going around my town and in my church and in my life!
I am ready for a change, and God is the only one who can give me the kind of change I need!
I hope this blog has spoke to someone, and maybe it will convict them!
if not your sin will find you out! There is no gray in church, its just black and white. You will be found out, God does not like Luke warm ppl, it says in the bible he will spit you out!
you will get spit out!
Cursing, Drinking, hypocriticism, lying, backstabbing, fake people.
Now that I got that out. Maybe now you will know where I'm going with this.
I have been in church my whole life! I was saved at age 7 ( I believe)
never in my whole life until the last 5 years have I ever experienced so much heart ache from church. Not just one church either. Because I have left and tried to start fresh, but the Lord knocked me down on that. That experience was just WOW.. not going there.
Have you ever had a desire or a passion to do something so bad and its like no one even notices you. and then you see someone up there doing it, who is one person at church, but then another person outside of church. its very hurtful, especially when you are the one who is actually trying to do right!
I do not think that someone that is open on facebook or twitter about their partying or language should be able to represent a church or be able to stand on a stage and minister.
This right here is a prime example of why ppl do not come to church. They get hurt and think all churches are this way. now I will also say this. The more ppl you know and the more involved you get into a church, you find out a bunch of CRAP, and it distracts you from becoming closer to God, because you will find yourself thinking about what that person did the night before or what they are going to be doing after service.. it totally throws you off.
we are not supposed to be teaching ppl how easy it is to get away with sin, we are supposed to be teaching them about love and serving, and living like Christ did.
have you ever read in the bible about Jesus partying the night before he went out into the streets to spread the word? ummmm no!
And maybe this is what happens when you are raised in the bible belt, but come on ppl its preached to you all the time about the sins of everyday life and how we are to stay away.
And no I'm not perfect, we all slip and fall, but at least I am trying and I'm no longer struggling with half the stuff I once was.
someone once told me that I'd be surprised if I knew half of what these ppl were going through, and you know what I think. I don't want to know!!!! don't spread the gossip about someone!!!! don't make it facebook or twitter announced what you do especially if you are in ministry GAH ppl come on!!!!!
I have been in one BIG funk lately and I think its because I am so burned out on how things are going around my town and in my church and in my life!
I am ready for a change, and God is the only one who can give me the kind of change I need!
I hope this blog has spoke to someone, and maybe it will convict them!
if not your sin will find you out! There is no gray in church, its just black and white. You will be found out, God does not like Luke warm ppl, it says in the bible he will spit you out!
you will get spit out!
Monday, July 18, 2011
My World
A lot has been going on these last couple weeks. It seems like I'm busy busy busy all the time.
I need a vacation, and a vacation before October.That's when I leave for my 10 day cruise! woohooo I cannot wait! even though I get so sea sick and have to stay drugged up on Dramamine, its totally worth traveling the world to see all of Gods wonderful creations!
The girls lock - in has been approved and now i am working on getting all the final details done. I have to build 3 frames ( thank goodness I made an A+ in AG shop)
Its going to be awesome!
The name for the lock - in is Live Laugh Love
and our girls group name is going to be extravagant grace! I love it and I can wait to announce it to the girls the night of the lock - in . I think they will be so excited to have a group just for girls. I have a lot of plans for this group! I'm going to make a fb group and post daily women's devotionals.
I'm so excited! God has laid this on my heart for quite sometime. Now its time for me to get to working on it!
Speaking of God laying stuff on my heart. ministry school has once again popped up to the surface.
I do not want to move away right now. I know that's what has stopped me all the times before.
I have been looking up online schools for ministry as well. I am not sure what to do about this desire in my heart. I often think about the time I got accepted into Hill Song in Australia! Wow my life would be totally different right now! And then when I got accepted into Rehma! ha ha oh lord my life for sure would have been changed. God Thank you for working things out for your will, and not mine!
I am not sure whats going to happen in my future, but I do know that God can use me here just as well as anywhere else. And I also know that you don't have to go to ministry school in order for God to use you in a church, My time will come. I know it will. Or I wouldn't see it in my dreams every night!
I have been itching to go get more pictures done. I'm thinking of going to Shakespeare park on one Saturday. But maybe one day ill be getting engagement pictures done there! Oops did I say that too soon!
I have been thinking about photography for myself also. I'm just keeping an open mind on a lot of different things I could do, if for some reason I don't pass my test. ( that dang test!!!!)
I will start traveling again to Montgomery with in the next couple weeks. I'm scared to do this because, when I'm put on the spot my nerves kick in and my brain is lost somewhere in left field!
But only God knows what he wants me to do and right now I feel like I'm doing just that. Singing in the youth is crazy awesome i love it. and I have also thought about talking to the worship minister in the main sanctuary about singing on Sundays.
I also want to add this in my blog. Best friends, this topic has been on my heart a lot lately, well ever since Caia and I have started having problems. We both have not been the same for a while now. Things happen and ppl are in your life for certain seasons. Now I have been the bigger person and tried to ignore certain things, but if she cant move on from certain things, then its going to be impossible for us to work things out. So I have decided to let her do her thing and when she is ready to move on from her past and realize that everyone makes mistakes then we can talk and try to hang out again, but for now its best for me to just let her be. Because I have to get things lined up in my life in order for things to fall into the right places. just like Bishops service yesterday about the hour glass. What a perfect example.
I needed that service yesterday! It was so fulfilling. I cannot wait for practice and service this week in the youth. me and jamasha were talking yesterday and we feel and explosion coming to our youth group. And if its not in them then its in me and ill take that too!
God is truly amazing and I cannot wait to see what happens in the next few months.
~ALM~
I need a vacation, and a vacation before October.That's when I leave for my 10 day cruise! woohooo I cannot wait! even though I get so sea sick and have to stay drugged up on Dramamine, its totally worth traveling the world to see all of Gods wonderful creations!
The girls lock - in has been approved and now i am working on getting all the final details done. I have to build 3 frames ( thank goodness I made an A+ in AG shop)
Its going to be awesome!
The name for the lock - in is Live Laugh Love
and our girls group name is going to be extravagant grace! I love it and I can wait to announce it to the girls the night of the lock - in . I think they will be so excited to have a group just for girls. I have a lot of plans for this group! I'm going to make a fb group and post daily women's devotionals.
I'm so excited! God has laid this on my heart for quite sometime. Now its time for me to get to working on it!
Speaking of God laying stuff on my heart. ministry school has once again popped up to the surface.
I do not want to move away right now. I know that's what has stopped me all the times before.
I have been looking up online schools for ministry as well. I am not sure what to do about this desire in my heart. I often think about the time I got accepted into Hill Song in Australia! Wow my life would be totally different right now! And then when I got accepted into Rehma! ha ha oh lord my life for sure would have been changed. God Thank you for working things out for your will, and not mine!
I am not sure whats going to happen in my future, but I do know that God can use me here just as well as anywhere else. And I also know that you don't have to go to ministry school in order for God to use you in a church, My time will come. I know it will. Or I wouldn't see it in my dreams every night!
I have been itching to go get more pictures done. I'm thinking of going to Shakespeare park on one Saturday. But maybe one day ill be getting engagement pictures done there! Oops did I say that too soon!
I have been thinking about photography for myself also. I'm just keeping an open mind on a lot of different things I could do, if for some reason I don't pass my test. ( that dang test!!!!)
I will start traveling again to Montgomery with in the next couple weeks. I'm scared to do this because, when I'm put on the spot my nerves kick in and my brain is lost somewhere in left field!
But only God knows what he wants me to do and right now I feel like I'm doing just that. Singing in the youth is crazy awesome i love it. and I have also thought about talking to the worship minister in the main sanctuary about singing on Sundays.
I also want to add this in my blog. Best friends, this topic has been on my heart a lot lately, well ever since Caia and I have started having problems. We both have not been the same for a while now. Things happen and ppl are in your life for certain seasons. Now I have been the bigger person and tried to ignore certain things, but if she cant move on from certain things, then its going to be impossible for us to work things out. So I have decided to let her do her thing and when she is ready to move on from her past and realize that everyone makes mistakes then we can talk and try to hang out again, but for now its best for me to just let her be. Because I have to get things lined up in my life in order for things to fall into the right places. just like Bishops service yesterday about the hour glass. What a perfect example.
I needed that service yesterday! It was so fulfilling. I cannot wait for practice and service this week in the youth. me and jamasha were talking yesterday and we feel and explosion coming to our youth group. And if its not in them then its in me and ill take that too!
God is truly amazing and I cannot wait to see what happens in the next few months.
~ALM~
Monday, July 11, 2011
Change
How many times will you let something take over your life?
Well I have had about enough of depression, sickness, and just CRAP always following me around like a black rain cloud.
I know God reins in my life, and He will continue to rein in my life FOREVER.
I had some very important one on one time with God this morning. I know my gifts that he has given me are too good to waste, or to be tossed to the side.
I finished my plans for the Extravagant Grace Lock- In
its amazing the things God gives you when you are actually listening. I pray that I will get all of this approved. Its been on my heart for quite sometime. and I am so proud of our crew coming together and putting action to our words.
One thing that I have to work on and this is the main thing God hit me with....
if you don't stay built up in him, and don't stay in his word. You will fall.
So I will get back to my devotionals, daily readings, and praying.
I have noticed alot of change in alot of areas in my life and walk with God, and they all have to get fixed now.
for one you cant have a relationship with out Gods blessings. And that's another thing that is on my heart. I want mine and Rogers relationship to last forever, I know we have to let God use us for what He wants us to do.
I know God has big plans for me. I hear it and feel it all the time.
Its heart breaking to think (what if I have already let Him -God down)
I know God is patient and Kind and has the heart of Grace and forgiveness ( AND 2nd CHANCES)
God isn't finished using me.
I am excited for tonight, we have our CREW meeting to turn in all our ideas for what we were assigned. Mine of course the LOCK-In
and I also cant wait to hear about the Band, I'm excited to hear about what they have planned for the BIG service in September.
We are finally going to learn some of the songs from forward2011. I think our group is very excited about that!
God nothing can keep me from your love! Thank you for your merciful heart!
Thank you for pulling me out of my mess again!
Well I have had about enough of depression, sickness, and just CRAP always following me around like a black rain cloud.
I know God reins in my life, and He will continue to rein in my life FOREVER.
I had some very important one on one time with God this morning. I know my gifts that he has given me are too good to waste, or to be tossed to the side.
I finished my plans for the Extravagant Grace Lock- In
its amazing the things God gives you when you are actually listening. I pray that I will get all of this approved. Its been on my heart for quite sometime. and I am so proud of our crew coming together and putting action to our words.
One thing that I have to work on and this is the main thing God hit me with....
if you don't stay built up in him, and don't stay in his word. You will fall.
So I will get back to my devotionals, daily readings, and praying.
I have noticed alot of change in alot of areas in my life and walk with God, and they all have to get fixed now.
for one you cant have a relationship with out Gods blessings. And that's another thing that is on my heart. I want mine and Rogers relationship to last forever, I know we have to let God use us for what He wants us to do.
I know God has big plans for me. I hear it and feel it all the time.
Its heart breaking to think (what if I have already let Him -God down)
I know God is patient and Kind and has the heart of Grace and forgiveness ( AND 2nd CHANCES)
God isn't finished using me.
I am excited for tonight, we have our CREW meeting to turn in all our ideas for what we were assigned. Mine of course the LOCK-In
and I also cant wait to hear about the Band, I'm excited to hear about what they have planned for the BIG service in September.
We are finally going to learn some of the songs from forward2011. I think our group is very excited about that!
God nothing can keep me from your love! Thank you for your merciful heart!
Thank you for pulling me out of my mess again!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
my weekend!
I must say that family gatherings with my family never end on a good note.
We all went to the beach for my moms birthday and of course jason and haley have to have it there way or no way. Which makes arguments very easy. Jason of course never listens. And when my mom isn't happy no one is happy. Its always something with my family. When im around them for more than like 3 hours my anger issues surface. I hate to leave my family ill or upset. And today I did. But it took them two hours to call and ask if I was ok. It just makes me feel like no one cares. They just care about themselves. Sometimes I ask myself if I will ever understand my screwed up family.
When one thing happens that is upsetting my whole world changes. My depression sinks in, I think that everyone is upset with me. I feel like its just me in my little house. And no one can hear me. Im tired of being this way. Im tired of always being stressed and worried and depressed. I don't want to go to back to counseling.
I want to be happy.
I met a girl singing on the pier and I thought to myself, what happened to pursuing my dreams, well life gets in the way! That's what happens!
Life sucks sometimes!
My life sucks!
Im 24 this shouldn't be my life!
Anyways im tired of talking about it!
Im going to bed
We all went to the beach for my moms birthday and of course jason and haley have to have it there way or no way. Which makes arguments very easy. Jason of course never listens. And when my mom isn't happy no one is happy. Its always something with my family. When im around them for more than like 3 hours my anger issues surface. I hate to leave my family ill or upset. And today I did. But it took them two hours to call and ask if I was ok. It just makes me feel like no one cares. They just care about themselves. Sometimes I ask myself if I will ever understand my screwed up family.
When one thing happens that is upsetting my whole world changes. My depression sinks in, I think that everyone is upset with me. I feel like its just me in my little house. And no one can hear me. Im tired of being this way. Im tired of always being stressed and worried and depressed. I don't want to go to back to counseling.
I want to be happy.
I met a girl singing on the pier and I thought to myself, what happened to pursuing my dreams, well life gets in the way! That's what happens!
Life sucks sometimes!
My life sucks!
Im 24 this shouldn't be my life!
Anyways im tired of talking about it!
Im going to bed
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.2
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)