Why worry

Laying here in bed. So tired but yet no position is comfortable. I've already done  my window shopping on zulilly, Amazon, and etsy... Checked emails, scrolled through facebook a dozen times. Asking myself why don't i delete mine! Then you sit as the sounds of your husband breathing, snoring, and that awful teeth chattering lip smacking sound of the best sleep you once knew. Wishing it was you and you know that kind of sleep won't return to you until the baby is sleeping through the night, but even then will you? 

Being a first time mom it's hard not to worry about everything! 

How much did the baby move today? Are they moving now? 

Did you take your prenatals?

What did I eat today? 

Did you drink enough water? 

Your mind gets to running wild at night when your laying there sleepless. 

Tonight I realized why worry so much? I have totally forgotten who is in control! 

God is in control! Why do you need to freak out when the baby hasn't moved in 10 minutes? God made us fearfully and wonderfully! He protects us. Tonight I realized I need to do more praying than worrying! So now I'm going to hang up posting this blog and pray, pray for a good nights sleep with less trips to the bathroom. Pray for the health of my baby girl. Pray for a successful delivery and pray for my husband and I to be the best parents we can be. 

My advice to those who worry. Pray every time you feel fear trickling in your mind,pray every time your heart starts to fear. Pray every time your head starts to wonder! Pray and remember God is in control! 

Communication

Communication is everything. At least that's what I have been taught. Has anyone say there for hours without saying a word? 

This is my daily life. Quite. Too quite! 

Being a first time mom and a newly stay at home mom. In June my husband and I decided for the health of the baby and I, that I quit and stay at home. 

At first it was great because my job was absolutely hell on earth. I loved some of the girls I worked with. But to be under so much stress and working 12+ hours a day was way too much! 

I loved being able to sleep in and watch hgtv and cook. Especially being in the first trimester! 

Now that it's been 4 months im bored! I talk to no one all day, my husband comes home at lunch and we talk for a few then he goes back to work. 

I try to remember to talk to the baby aloud but it's awkward! Then my husband comes home. It's a few words then he watches tv and plays his game on the iPad... It's quite... Too quite! To the point that I want to play 20 questions everyday! 

Being pregnant you get depressed or should I say emotional very easily. So a lot of crazy stupid things bother us way to easy! 

Communication is a must in your daily life. When I get a phone call I want to stay on the phone forever. When my husband comes home I want to ask him a million questions, just to have a conversation with someone or something other than my brain! 

Addiction

Never in my life have I ever met someone tear a house upside down to find what they are addicted to. 

My husband recently started smoking the electronic cigarettes and now at this very moment he can't find the replacement liquids and is tearing the house apart to try and find it.

It's driving me crazy and upsetting me because he is mad and blaming me, but most importantly he is addicted more than I've ever seen. 

That's the part that upsets me most.

Aggravations

Never rent an apartment. Never rent out your house. 

So far our apartment deal has fallen through. We are stuck in the shit hole till December. 

My house was rented out to the best renter and she moved out. Ever since then I have had shit!

No one pays, you can do hardly anything because I'm so far away. 

I have a girl in my house now who signed and 6 month lease and it's lease to own. So she is held liable to buy the house by the end of her 6 months.but for some reason I feel like now since it's taken me threatening the sherrifs dept for her to pay me that it's not going to happen. Anyways I'm just beyond aggravated because I need the money. Badly!

I don't need stupid crack heads living in my house.

Why century 21 gave out my keys with out my permission and with out seeing any lease paper work. Just blows my mind!

I wish to god my mom didn't work there because if she didn't I would have already got a lawyer involved and had them shut down.

Anyways just maybe things will work out. 

Just maybe. 

All I can do is pray about it. 

New Job

Nothing to be excited about in my book.

Florida is different. 

My heart has been hurt by all the change in lifestyle around here. Now I know a job is a job and we can't be picky but... 

When you grown up around and in church your whole life. It's a part of you. In the town we are from (Ozark, Dothan, enterprise) you know lower Alabama ( the Bible Belt) you work with church folks! Not uncommon at all.

We here, you don't talk about church or God!

No kidding! My first day I was exposed to so much stuff I thought I was working at mcdonalds with a bunch of junkies (no offense to anyone who works their).

But it's the only place that would hire me with out my certification.

Yes Florida requires you to have your EFDA. Which is a totally crop of poop!

I have to pay $500 for a piece of paper that says I can do what I have been doing for 10 years. 

Some of the girls are nice but everyone and I mean everyone is crazy! 

The office is so dirty. I mean it's sterile but it's dirty. Dust everywhere. Anyways the office is about 10 times the size of any office I have ever worked at. 

There are two shifts! 645-115 then. 12:45 to 715.

And yes two days a week you work 12 plus hours. Rest of the days are half. But they are still 6 1/2 hour days. So really not half days. Oh and you work Saturdays. Every other week! 

Which blows! 

There are 4 doctors right now. They are hiring 6 more. And 6 more assistants which they have already hired 6 in the past 2 months and yes that includes me. 

There are currently around 35 employees! That's a lot of people. There is one guy! I guess you can discriminate! Lol

They are getting ready to open a new office, which is great! Maybe I will get moved there!

So far at the job I have been baby sat and trained by girls who have only been an assistant for maybe a year. Which pisses me off! 

I know so much more! But these girls only have worked at this office. No other office so they know all! (Nope) 

I have found out so much in the past 3 weeks that I have been working there. I found out the pay, and I got jiped on that! 

But all I can do is keep looking for another place.

And keep writing about the stories. 

The girls cuss and party and a down right freaks! I have never heard the F word so much in one day in my life! Grown women same age as my mom cussing and f this and f that and my pussy this! I mean what!? I wanted to slap the mess out of them! Finally a girl walked in that started working and she is a church going girl! She feels my pain about the office and she isn't staying. So that sucks. But for right now, I show up for the money. Which is hard but until I get my papers I can't do anything.

So until the next post! 

New life new place

So here we are living in St Pete. Florida,

The sunshine state. Which is like to say since we have lived here it hasn't been much sunshine. More like cold and rainy. We have had a few nice days.

But we are currently living in an apartment. Which is new for the both of us.

We both agree when we say that we hate it!

Our apartment was site unseen. Channon was deployed when I had to find us a place. So one of the most popular places was Camden Lakes. So we picked that. Let's just say that we were (are) young and dumb. Always read the reviews. Always try to call around. Ask questions; 

1. Does it have lights? 

2. How old are the apartments?

3. When were the last time they were updated?

Let's just say, Channon was gone, my mom and dad helped move me down here. They did not show me the apartment. Which I should have asked. 

My fault. We walk into the apartment, it's tiny tiny. Looks like shit. The carpet is still wet. I just cried because I had already signed the lease. Which by the way I signed a 15 month lease when they told me it was 12. Again my fault for not paying attention.

My parents of course talked me into staying. The scenery around the apartment is beautiful. I think that's the only reason we stayed.

We'll a month passes, Channon has come home. The apartment maintenance people have come almost every week to replace whatever broke of repair what he could. Neighbors smoking weed everyday. It comes into the apartment all day long.

Nothing nothing nothing that we have complained about will allow us to break our lease. 

We tried getting a lawyer on base to help us. But nothing ever happened. 

Finally we noticed another unit coming available just last week and it's all by itself ,like a townhouse. Of course there is someone next to it but no one above. 

So we were able to transfer units and shorten our lease. So we move beginning of February. 

I hope that it's a little nicer.

Until we can find our own place.

Money has been tight but now that I have a job things are starting to look up!

So that brings me to my next blog.

My Job! 

Newly weds

It's been right at 2 months since Channon and I got married. Live  in Florida now. It's 8 hours from home.

That's a big change for me.

So since I'm here with out friends. I decided to start blogging (writing) again.

I have a lot if stories, work flow, and a dog now. So why not blog!

Channon and I got married November 9th at landmark park.

It was the most beautiful day in my entire life! I could relive that day for the rest of my life! 

But I will say that not every thing is a fairy tail.

Most people think that life is perfect. Marriage is great, don't get me wrong. But there will still be disagreements. Still pee on the toilet seats, clothes and good left around the house. Hair all of the sink.

Everyday you have to clean up. If your like me, a messy house is a miserable house. I can't stand a mess. 

There will be days when you don't even want to talk to him or her because you haven't gotten to talk to anyone but them for weeks. You haven't left the house in two weeks. Because newly wed finances are the biggest struggle of them all.

But if you look past all that at the end of the day all you want to do is be next to that person. All cuddled up in the bed. 

I'll post more stories about the newly wed life later.

Moving on to the next post.